White flags

Today's workout was supposed to be Core 1/2. It's a very basic circuit style workout where you move from static to dynamic core work. What I did of it I'm sure I'll feel tomorrow.

I say that's what the workout was supposed to be because I did not finish it. Really I only got half way in before I stopped. While my abs were starting to burn, that wasn't the reason that I decided to postpone the second half. It was because I was so upset and angry.

The attitude that I start workouts with sets the tone for what I'm going to do. Today was an especially bad day at work and rather than working out all my emotions, I was just building them up. Between the mental screaming that I was doing and the guilt I was heaping on myself for ignoring the dogs when I got home in an attempt to try and calm down, it was just a brewing storm.

There are some moves in Core 1/2 that I have trouble coordinating my body with, side V ups are my enemy. I've always struggled with feeling like I'm activating the right muscles while doing this motion. This was what killed it for me today. Rather than attempting to get better at something, I was just getting more and more frustrated.

I knew that this was just going to get worse if I didn't stop.

There is a difference between being frustrated because you're doing something hard and being frustrated because you started that way. On a normal day, I would have let that frustration push me to try and get better at the stupid V ups. If I had continued to push myself through the workout today, I think it would have been detrimental to my goal of getting back into a rhythm/schedule of working out & being active. My work caused frustration would have carried over and been directed at the classes which is likely to slow me down on doing them. I just started to be excited about the idea of doing planned workouts again and I don't want to crush that.

Mentally, I just needed a win today. Something easy, something I felt good at. That was just not happening. And you know what? Throwing up a white flag sometimes is okay. I just have to recognize when to do it.

I'm proud that I at least attempted to do the workout today. There are going to be really bad days sometimes when I just want to scream and throw things. I'm proud that I didn't let this attitude make me completely skip my workout like I would have done before. Part of me was hoping that it would channel that rage into something else today, but it's okay that it didn't. Right now I'm focusing on my small victory of pushing myself to get started today even if I didn't finish.

Tomorrow I'll complete the exercise so I don't fall behind on the week but I'll do it without feeling guilty.

Fitbit
Steps:12, 230
Distance: 5.6 miles
Calories: 2,220
Elevation: 18 floors